It's All About Point of View

A little over a year ago, Husband and I moved out of our apartment, packed all of our goods into storage and checked into the Inn on post. That night, Husband would leave for deployment and I would spend the first of many nights alone.

That room tormented me from the moment I walked in the door. Just knowing that it was the last stop on the countdown to deployment would have been enough to make me hate that hotel room. Of course, with my luck, that wasn't all that made me hate it. Not two minutes after we had stepped foot into the room, a innocent bug flew from the corner toward Husband's face, causing him to throw his phone in defense. Sadly, his phone split in half upon impact, therefore keeping his command from contacting him if necessary. On a normal day, Husband would have cared less. But 4 hours before a deployment and he was a stressed out mess. Not wanting to miss any important information, Husband decided that we should head over to the Battery early, ending whatever couple time we had left.

I can't even begin to describe how I was feeling as we loaded his bags in the car and took that short drive across post. I do, however, remember every detail of that drive, from the street lights shining off of the newly formed rain puddles to the look in Husband's eye: a mix between pride for the mission and the devastation of leaving the one you love behind. As we pulled into the parking lot, all the strength I had left disappeared because for only the second time ever, I saw a tear run down Husband's cheek. Remembering that one tear and those last moments we spent in the car together before Husband had to walk away will always bring an ache to my heart, even if I'm wrapped in his arms. Thankfully though, we will never have to relive those moments again as we are now staying at the Inn on post for a different reason.

Husband is 5 days away from calling himself a civilian!! 

So now, for a very different reason, Husband and I have moved out of our apartment, packed all of our goods for shipment and have checked into the Inn on post. This time around, there is nothing sad about this hotel room because Husband and I are about to start a very exciting new adventure, together.

The Swing of Things

When your husband comes home from deployment, it's like falling in love all over again. 

He'll buy you presents...

You'll hug and kiss...

He'll take you on adventures...

And take you out on dates.

Then, when you think it just can't get any better, this starts...

But you'll still love him anyway <3

Deployment Can Kiss My Ass...

...because Husband is home!!

It still feels like a dream but as I look over at his sleeping face as I type, I remember that I'm the luckiest girl in the world! Of course, Homecoming pictures will be up as soon as I can tear myself away from my Loverboy.



The Preparation

It took me a while, but I have finally decided on a homecoming dress.

The homecoming sign was a little harder. For a while, I just stared at the blank board. I didn't want it to look like every other homecoming sign, now did I?

But after quite a bit of thought, a few spills and more paint on myself than on the sign, I was finished! My sign is like no one else's:

[Don't worry, my sign will not be leaving the house!]

With my dress and signs, clean house and beer, I am now more than ready for Husband's homecoming!

Can we fast forward now?

Mustache Face

I have never been good at entertaining myself. Even as a child, I never liked to do things alone. My ability to become instantly lonely has carried over into adulthood and makes living alone quite difficult. During the times that I'm not running around on island adeventures...

 [My first sea turtle encounter]

 [Hiking at Kolekole Pass]

*Photos by Beckie

...I'm doing anything I can to keep busy inside the apartment. Since cleaning is boring and obviously out, I've come up with an array of activities to keep myself occupied until Husband makes his appearance. Today, my activity of choice was waxing...

[My wax mustache face.]

Let's just say, waxing and boredom do not mix.

Lesson learned.

The Man of the House

With Husband gone, I have taken over the role of Mr. Fix It.

First, I changed the shower head in the bathroom, which was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be.

Then, Mom and I built a grill. Not nearly as easy as the shower head, but we still got it done!

More recently, I tackled a much larger project: the car. You see, the AC in the car was broken. The first quote I got to fix it was $150. The second quote, which I got from the place on post, was only $39. Little did I know, the mechanic there thought he could pull one over on me because I'm a girl and would not actually be fixing the AC for that price. Even though I asked for confirmation of the work I was getting done, he only checked the AC for that $39. To actually fix it would be another $200. Naturally, I was not happy when I discovered he had flat out lied to me and I let him know it. I also let him know that I would be taking my business elsewhere. And that place was Checker.

After a phone call to my dad, I decided that I would just fix the AC myself. So one trip to Checker and $35 later, I found myself staring at the engine with absolutely no idea what I was looking for.

[my view]

So I googled it. After I knew what I was looking for, I spent the better part of the afternoon staring at the engine, trying to figure out where the mystery part was. And then I found it. Twenty minutes later, I was in the car, cold air blasting, on my way to Taco Bell for a celebratory taco.

I'm sure Husband never thought he would be coming home to a plumber, builder and mechanic!

I sure hope he knows how lucky he is to be married to a badass like me.

Grown-up Girl

Sometimes being a grown-up isn't fun at all. Like when I have to move 3,000 miles away from my home with only the essentials. As if that wasn't stressful enough, when I got here, I realized that the condo I rented was dirty and disappointing. Then I went to pick up the car and it wouldn't start. So I had to buy a new battery. While I was waiting for AAA to install it, I noticed that the tags were expired. I ended up having to pay for new tires and an alignment before I could get them renewed. Top all of that off with moving our stuff out of storage in the constant rain and the last week has been pretty hard.

Thankfully, I had Mom with me. She's the only reason I didn't have a full blown mental breakdown. She was absolutely amazing and helped me make the apartment feel like a home. She helped me pick out my pretty, new couch and even bought me a dining room table, rug, coffee table and vacuum. My apartment that started out as a disappointing mess ended up feeling a little bit like a home.

[Sorry for the crappy pictures]

Sadly, Mom had to go back home and now I'm forced to become a real grown-up girl and live on my own for a while. Some moments it doesn't seem so bad. Others, it feels absolutely impossible. Hopefully I survive.

Hawaii Time

I'm finally ready for Hawaii.

And now I have the beachy hair and slight tan to prove it.

Bring on the sunshine, beaches and hopefully sooner rather than later, Husband.

The Crazy Army Wife

Sometimes, when your husband is deployed, you turn into a giant loser and you just go a little crazy. You spend your Friday nights sitting around watching Say Yes To The Dress and thinking about the beautiful wedding you had. You think of how happy you were that day and how your husband was actually home. Then you think of your wedding dress upstairs in the closet and you want to try it on. So you do.

You twirl and realize that your dress is about 3 sizes too big so you have to sit down. Then you become the crazy Army wife sitting around in her wedding dress missing her deployed husband.

Man, I'm such a loser.

The Waiting Game

When we got married and I moved from Arizona to Hawaii, we knew Husband would be deploying within 6 months of my arrival. Knowing we would just have to store everything during the deployment, Husband made the executive decision to leave all of our gifts at home. Even though I knew this made sense, I was bitter. I wanted to play with all of my our new presents!

After Husband deployed and I came home to Mom and school, I was even less thrilled with the idea that our presents were not in Hawaii. Having to look at them, day in and day out, for the better part of a year did not sit well with me. The longer they went unused, the more irritated I got.

Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was tired of living like a transient, always waiting for the the good parts of my life to happen. I was ready to be happy with the way my life is now. So I got a giant box and packed it with my very favorite presents and other things that I just didn't want to live without anymore.

When I make my way back to Hawaii in about a month, this box will be flying with me. I don't care that it's going to cost $30+ to get it on the plane and I don't care that it's going to have to be moved again in another 6 months. I want to be comfortable with my current life and if it takes silverware and cake plates to do that, then that's what's going to happen. I'm going to stop waiting and just start living.

Finding the Good

Deployments are terrible. As much as I wish they could just disappear and everyone could have their loved ones home all the time, I know that will never be possible. So in this bad situation, looking for the good, no matter how small it may be, can be the only thing that helps maintain sanity.

Having said this, I believe that I have found the good that has come from husband's deployment:

My husband is one of those men that likes to think he's 100% badass and 0% sensitive. He's always talking about "manly" things and one of his favorite things to say to me is, "Because, Babe, I'm a grown ass man!" Needless to say, this delusion has caused him to be slightly less than romantic in every day situations. Well, when he's aware of it at least. His subconscious is another story. For example, he likes to pretend that he doesn't like to snuggle, so we go to sleep on our own sides of the bed. On multiple occasions however, I've woken up in the middle of the night to him snuggling me so tightly I can barely breathe. So I've always known there was a sensitive side somewhere behind that "manly" front.

Much to my surprise, this deployment has severely toned down the manly-ness. I would've thought that being with only men all day long, for months on end would have worsened his condition. [Thankfully, I was wrong.] His behavior during this deployment has made me feel more appreciated than ever before, as he constantly thanks me for the packages and love I send his way. Along with all of that appreciation, he's also constantly telling me how much he loves me and how excited he is to start our lives together in what I like to call his "lovey voice". Before this deployment, it had never really existed. Now, I hear it at least once in every conversation.

[On R&R, when he "fell even more in love with me."]

I am loving the change that this deployment has brought out in my husband. I think that it has strengthened our marriage and helped us to communicate all of our feelings better. It just confirms for me that he is the one that I want forever.

What good has come out of your family's deployments? 

Trucks & Trash Cans

My day started with a bang.

And by bang, I mean the sound of me driving my brother's truck into the recycling can at the end of the driveway.

[In my defense, it's a giant truck. Ok, and I'm not the best driver.]

As the crash echoed down the entire street, I jumped down out of the truck to another wonderful surprise.  The garbage man apparently hadn't come yet, because the street in front of the house was littered with water bottles and newspapers. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, two of my neighbors came out of their houses to witness me frantically scooping trash out of the street.

After I had finally put all the trash back into the can, I got back in the truck and drove away. Not two minutes later, as I rounded the corner onto the main road, a man ran by wearing Army PT's. The surprise of seeing a soldier combined with my unfortunate driving incident pushed me over the edge and I just burst into tears.

I am so ready for this deployment to be over so I can stop being an emotional wreck all the time.

Maybe It's A Man Thing...

...or maybe it's an Army man thing. Either way, there is no mistaking my husband's obsession with zombies. First, he read the Zombie Survival Guide. Then, during leave, we went to the shooting range where husband discovered zombie targets. In a state of pure joy, he sent that target down range.

Then he shot that zombie to pieces.

[Can you see the joy on that handsome face?]

After the targets, I thought the zombie love would settle down a little. I was wrong. The other day, I got a call from husband who was, unmistakably, thrilled. He then proceeded to explain to me that he had just gotten hundreds of stickers that read, "ZOMBIES ARE REAL!!!" Now, with the help of a few friends,  those stickers are stuck all over the base in Sandland. Boys will be boys, I guess?

Heaven only knows what the next zombie related activity will be. I can't wait to find out.

I Am Not A Hussy

My husband has barely been gone for a week and I've been solicited for sex twice already.

#1: Within days of husband leaving, some kid I went to high school with that has hair like Fabio and, it seems, has recently found a surplus of self esteem, messaged me on Facebook. His exact words were, "So now that your husband is gone, when do we get to hook up?" My response was deleting his disgusting self from my friend list. Ew.

#2: While buying things for a box to send to husband, the guy that was ringing my stuff up saw husband's dog tags and asked if I was in the military. Very proudly, I told him husband is in the Army and is currently deployed. Upon hearing this, a sly smile creeps across his face and he says, "You must really miss sex then. I could help you out with that, you know." Thankfully, I was done paying and just gave him my best look of disgust as I grabbed my stuff and got out of there.


I really don't understand it. I mean, it happened before R&R too but it was no where near as often as twice a week. It's not like I walk around without my ring on and forget to mention that I'm married. Trust me, I talk about husband every chance I get. So what is it then? Do I unknowingly walk around looking like a super-slut or do military wives really have that bad of a reputation for being cheating whores? I'd like to think that since both guys knew my husband is military, it's a military wife reputation thing. But even so, that is really sad. How many wives have to be out there cheating to give us all this awful reputation? What I know for sure is, I would never ever cheat on my husband. Even if I had to wait a decade for him to come home to me.

Has anything like this happened to you?

Pick-Me-Ups

In the past few days, I have been a major Negative Nancy. Seriously, my grouchiness levels are so high that even I don't want to be near me. But luckily, in between all of my pouting, whining and slouching, two things have caused a smile to grace my lovely face.

#1: Most likely, my newest obsession.

What is it you ask?

It's the nookcolor!

And I love it! It's so fancy and new and I got the cutest little case for it. And with all the reading possibilities, I won't even have time to dwell on the fact that husband is gone again! Hopefully, anyway.

#2: As soon as husband got back to Sandland, he was told their "boots on the ground" date! As always with the Army, the date could change between now and then but I don't even care. Regardless of any changes, he will be home on or around that date so I already made my plans for my grand return to Hawaii.

And the best part is:

I got an amazing deal on a flight!

So now I just need to find more and more things to fill my remaining lonely days with happiness. I would really love to have another part time job to pass the time but I know that's completely unrealistic with my Hawaiian return fast-approaching. Perhaps I'll busy myself with losing the 5 pounds my butt gained while husband was home. By the time I accomplish that, maybe I'll have come up with a spectacularly fun plan for staying busy...any ideas?

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye after two weeks of constantly being together sucked. Seriously sucked. As I was completely unable to control myself, I clung to husband and sobbed in the airport. People stared and I didn't even care. But one part of that awful day actually went my way. Let me start from the beginning...

Driving to the airport, I was trying to hold back tears and soak up all the love I could in the little time I had left. Before I knew it, we were in the parking garage, pulling his bags out of the car. Slowly, we walked to the ticketing counter, hand in hand. And it was there my small miracle happened. Not only was husband's flight delayed five and a half hours, I was given a special ticket that let me walk him all the way to the gate. With such unexpeded, good news at such an awful time, tears suddenly became the furthest thing from my mind. We were happy.

We left the airport, high on our small victory and spent every second of that extra time together. Eventually, we made it back to the airport and I used my special ticket to go through security to wait at the gate with husband. In our own little world, the annoucement of the flight boarding shocked me into instant tears. Suddenly, all my time was gone and it was time to say goodbye. As my tears fell onto husband's uniform, other wives walked away from their soldiers with smiles on their faces and not a tear in sight. I really don't know how they did it, because that goodbye was the worst of all we've gone through.

I still haven't recovered.

Best.Day.Ever.

This is all you get for now.
Pictures of the hugs and kisses will come later.
You know, when I'm not busy enjoying every second of R&R with husband :]

My Love, My Valentine

Two years ago, Chris was deployed. We were "just friends". I sent him packages and letters and we talked all the time. One day, I opened the mail box to find a stack of pink and red cards, all addressed to me. Of course, they were from Chris. I flipped through the stack and found one was special...

...so I opened all of the other cards first. Some were goofy and some were super sweet. I loved every one of them. Then I got to the last card. Again, I read the note on the back: "This one's special. Open it last." Suddenly I was nervous. With shakey hands and a racing heart, I opened the card that would change my life, the card that told me Chris loves me. Less than 3 months later, Chris was home and we were engaged.

This Valentine's Day, it's my turn to do the surprising. Of course, nothing could ever top the card that changed it all, but regardless, husband deserves something special. So I got out my supplies and went to work on my masterpiece.

I cut. I glued. I shopped. I packed.

And I created the best surprise Valentine's Day box ever. The one that will greet husband with my love when he gets back to the sand after R&R. He'll open it and pretend it's cheesey, with it's pink paper and explosion of love. But secretly, he will love it. And when he gets to the card with the note that says, "This one's special. Open it last." he will smile. And he'll remember how our love began.

Advice!

Ok, bloggy friends, I need your help! I've never been one for making decisions and with all of the excitement messing with my head, I am hopelessly lost when it comes to choosing my homecoming (for R&R) outfit. So I am going to show you the choices that I've come up with and you get to pick! Keep in mind that I want my husband to think, "Holy crap, is that my hott wife?!" Ok, here we go!

Option #1:

Black top/dress, grey tights and belt! I know the picture is horrible but if you look closely, you can see that this one has cute little pockets, which I just love. I would probably also wear my black slouch boots.

Option #2:

Black&White fitted dress with black tights. With this one I could wear either black or grey slouch boots.

Option #3:

We will call the "Go shopping because both of your choices stink." option.
{If you choose this one, feel free to send a picture of your suggestion so I can get it right this time.}

So there you have it. That's all I have to offer as far as homecoming outfit ideas go and I seriously need some advice. Hair and makeup advice would be great too but I wouldn't want to overwhelm you with all of my needy demands. But seriously, if I don't get a little help, I will probably show up at the airport to welcome husband home in a plastic garbage bag. Then he will be scared away and I'll be all alone. And it will be all your fault and I will have to blame you forever. Just sayin.

The Spread of Hate

These people and their beliefs literally make me sick to my stomach. And they are here, in my state and all over the news. I can't get them off my mind. Why are they so hateful? Why do they believe the things they do? Why must they be so mean? I am so grateful to the state of Arizona for passing the law forcing them to stay 300 feet away from that poor little girl's funeral. But honestly, the more I think about it, the more I believe that really isn't good enough.

What do you think?