Packages and Pictures

I love mail.

Seriously, I love it.

About two weeks ago, husband called and informed me that he was going to send me a package. Naturally, I was beyond excited. Because the only thing I love more than mail is my husband. 

[Ok, maybe that's not entirely true. But you know what I mean.]

Anyway, I jokingly asked husband if he could find a way to mail himself. Well, today my package arrived. And as I tore open that box at the speed of light I was secretly hoping that my husband would jump out. Irrational, I know. But, in a way, my wish still came true. Because inside that box I found my husband's shirt that still smelled exactly like him. I also found these:

So tonight, wearing my husband's shirt and looking at his smiling face, I almost feel like he is home with me. Almost.

Faulty Genetics

Everyone in my family was born with beautiful, brown skin.

Everyone except me.

All my life my ghostly white skin has forced me into the family spotlight, making me the favorite topic of holiday jokes. 

If you think I'm exaggerating my extreme paleness, I invite you to take a look at my senior picture.

Now if this picture had been taken in the dead of winter, then maybe my translucent skin wouldn't be so bad.

But no. This picture was taken in August. After a long, hot Arizona summer in the sun.

Gag.

Foolishly, I prayed my skin would change with age.

After all, maybe God had had enough laughs at my expense and was going to one day grant me gloriously brown skin too.

Well, I'm now 23. And sadly, I am done hoping.

As unbelievable as it may seem, my skin has gotten even whiter as the years have passed.

And all I have to say is:

Not funny, God. Not funny at all.

Costco Crazies

Dear people of Costco,

I understand that you love free samples, I really do. But seriously, when you abandon your cart in the middle of the isle to stand in line for a piece of free cheese, I get a little upset. I get even more upset when you aggressively ram your cart directly into my path, forcing me to dive out of the way in order to save my shins from damage. When you catch me off guard and I'm not able to dive out of the way of your crazy cart maneuvers, this is what happens:



And when I start to bleed, I will also start to yell. And trust me, the first chance I get, I'm going to get you back. Watch your shins people. I mean business. 

With love,

Megan 

Veterans Day

I don't know my Dad's whole story.

I do know he was in the Air Force. And he is damn proud to be an American.

Maybe one day I'll get to hear the rest.

Dad, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, D.C.

March 2009.

This Veterans Day, I would also like to thank the all of the other men and women who have served, including:

LCpl Krznarich

Marine Corps

And of course, my husband

PFC Liberato

U.S. Army

If you would like to share the stories of the Veterans in your life, or would simply like to read the stories of others, visit Skinnie Piggie to find out more.

Tales of a Librarian

Growing up, I had a certain perception of librarians, a stereotype if you will, that has pretty much intensified as I’ve gotten older. Every librarian I have ever met was an older, glasses wearing woman who liked cats. So when ASU told me I would be doing my fall internship at a public library, where obviously, there would be librarians hanging around, I was way less than thrilled. Don’t get me wrong, I in no way hate librarians. I’m sure most of them are really nice people. But the last thing that I want to do is spend a semester hanging out with a librarian in a library. Because I seriously hate libraries. The whole place smells like musty, old moth balls and it’s filled with books that God only knows how many people have touched. Seriously, I don’t even want to know where those books have been.

So anyway, when the day of my first internship rolled around, I reluctantly got ready and slumped off to the library.  When I got there, I was greeted by this:

Not your average library building, wouldn’t you say? So I was more than a little intrigued to see if other things were different at this library as well (i.e. the smell). So with a little more pep in my step [curiosity will do that to a girl] I put on my intern badge and strode through the doors. Taking a deep breath, I realized that I smelled nothing but fresh, clean air. “How could this be?” I thought to myself. I got assigned to a new, modern, good-smelling library?! 

Interrupting my moment of joy, the librarian walked over: a frumpy, glasses-wearing older woman. And guess what? Within the first five minutes of talking to her, she told me about her four cats. Seriously. I knew right then she was going to be a gem. And let me tell you people, she hasn’t disappointed me yet.

Here are just a few of my favorite librarian moments:

“Do you think anyone would notice if I took off my bra? I’m so hot!”

“My profession is dominated by white females. I’m a white female too…It’s really too bad I’m not gay. That would definitely give me an edge!”

“Oh, be careful of that. I’m trying to trap a cat.”

And the list goes on. With next week as my last, I hope she gets a few more good ones in before I go. This whole working with a librarian thing isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be…

Today, you can call me Nancy

Remember that 5% of the time when I forget about my quest for Kardashian hair and pumpkin muffins just fail to bring me joy?

Well, that's today. Today, I'm a total Negative Nancy.

Don't get me wrong I am totally thrilled that Chris' deployment is more than a third of the way done.

But today is one of those days where I am just grouchy. Very grouchy.

 I want my husband home time now.