Hawaiian House Pets: Husband Edition

Let me just begin by saying I had almost forgotten how disgusting and weird Husband really is. In the year we spent apart, all of the burps and farts and wet PT socks in the kitchen faded from my mind. Within the first week of Husband being home, I quickly remembered. Of all the things that Husband has done in the last few weeks, his "house pet" is by far the worst.

In our apartment, we have two bathrooms. This means I get my own bathroom where I can cover the counters in makeup and hair products without having to worry about Husband messing it all up. While I was busy reveling in the glory of personal space, I neglected to realize how concerned I should be about giving Husband his own space. When I went into Husband's bathroom to collect his towel on laundry day, I looked down to discover the world's biggest spider living on the baseboard.

After bravely snapping a picture, I ran from the room to get Husband so he could kill the beast. When I frantically told him about the monstrous spider living in his bathroom, I was not at all prepared for his response which was, "Oh yeah, I knew it was there. I'm keeping it, like a pet." I'm sure the look on my face was a mixture of disgust and disbelief. Even for Husband, this was a new level of gross and weird.

Obviously I was not about to let Husband keep a "pet" spider in his bathroom. So I grabbed the can of Raid and ventured back into his bathroom. But in the few minutes I was gone, the spider escaped. In an attempt to keep the spider from returning, I sprayed every inch of that baseboard anyway. With Husband's track record, I'm sure I'll walk in to find the spider's dead body on the next laundry day.