The Girl Who Cried Ghost

Sometimes, Husband likes to play tricks on me. Most of the time I find them slightly more annoying than funny but Husband really loves them. The ghost incident that occurred yesterday was much worse than a normal trick though; it was 99% terrifying and 1% funny [although the more time that passes, the funnier it becomes]. It started like this:

Laying in bed at approximately 0510, Husband wakes me up to inform me that he thinks he heard something. He then goes on the tell me how he woke up way before his alarm because he was convinced he saw something moving in the room. He then leaves for PT, leaving me cowering under the covers, trying to decide if he was lying or if I should seriously consider we have a ghost. I eventually fall back asleep and don't think twice of Husband's story when I wake up.

A few hours later, I decide to jump in the shower so I can have plenty of time to get ready before Husband gets home for lunch. [On a normal day, I would have at least an hour before I would expect him home.] So I'm in the shower, shampooing my hair and singing louder than necessary, when I open my eyes. As my eyes adjust, I realize that there's a face colored blur on the other side of the curtain but with all of the steam and soap, I can't really tell what it is. Instantly, Husband's story comes rushing back to my mind. I immediately begin to question my sanity. To prove to myself that I am not really crazy, I blink my eyes a few times and lean a little closer to the shower curtain to get a better look at the "face". The closer I get, the more I realize that there really is a face on the other side of the shower curtain. For a second I just stand there, frozen in terror, trying to decide if there is a ghost or a kidnapper in my bathroom. I decide neither is good, but either way I'm going to have to face it.

Bravely, I tear back the shower curtain to find Husband standing on the bathmat with the biggest smile on his face. And then I cried. Not just normally tears, but uncontrollable sobs of relief. I hadn't even realized how truly scared I had been until I realized that I was not actually being haunted. Naturally, Husband felt absolutely terrible and promised never to play a trick on me again.

I'll let you know how that goes. 

:]  

The Crazy Army Wife

Sometimes, when your husband is deployed, you turn into a giant loser and you just go a little crazy. You spend your Friday nights sitting around watching Say Yes To The Dress and thinking about the beautiful wedding you had. You think of how happy you were that day and how your husband was actually home. Then you think of your wedding dress upstairs in the closet and you want to try it on. So you do.

You twirl and realize that your dress is about 3 sizes too big so you have to sit down. Then you become the crazy Army wife sitting around in her wedding dress missing her deployed husband.

Man, I'm such a loser.

Costco Crazies

Dear people of Costco,

I understand that you love free samples, I really do. But seriously, when you abandon your cart in the middle of the isle to stand in line for a piece of free cheese, I get a little upset. I get even more upset when you aggressively ram your cart directly into my path, forcing me to dive out of the way in order to save my shins from damage. When you catch me off guard and I'm not able to dive out of the way of your crazy cart maneuvers, this is what happens:



And when I start to bleed, I will also start to yell. And trust me, the first chance I get, I'm going to get you back. Watch your shins people. I mean business. 

With love,

Megan